The Giant Bidoof CRACK
by kaminari chou
Summary: TOTAL CRACK. The direct result of a four person Google docs session. NOT MEANT TO MAKE SENSE. Only uploading because my friends wanted to be able to read it.


If you're asking, "what the heck is this?" you should be. This is the result of a four-person google docs session. And basically crack. It's not supposed to make sense or even seem like it was written by a remotely sane person. My friends just wanted me to upload it so they could read it.

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><p>THE GIANT BIDOOF. It was a Bidoof, obviously, but it was abnormally large. This magical beast was so big, it was divided into five pieces. It was seen as a benevolent god to the Sinnoh region- a deity of sorts. It was a legend passed down from generation to generation. Some thought it was a myth, a fairytale. But they were wrong. This Bidoof was somewhat special, you see. Not just in the head, but he … she … other, whatever! was said to have been blessed by Arceus. Perhaps that is why it grew such enormous balls. I mean … maybe that's why it became so huge.<p>

Nevertheless, it was an iconic figure. Good or bad was debatable. This legend faded slowly as people began to forget about it. Slowly but surely, it was forgotten. In all places but one. Sometimes, things are remembered in the most unlikely of places- Hoenn. More specifically, the town of Littleroot. WHERE THE MOOSE ARE. Ahem. Anyways, as I was saying. There was one trainer who resided in Hoe .. nn. She was a very special trainer, in more ways than one. Is that implying something? That's up for you, the reader to decide.

Jordan Hgfieau was only a beginning trainer when she farted. "GO EAT A HAMBURGER" said her buttocks. And then, only after she did, her buttocks finally told her a story. What story? Why, the legend of the giant Bidoof. And then, Jordan began to sniff markers and get high. Her Froslass, nicknamed FRO ASS (Yeeuhh), only looked on in dismay. Alfred, his name was supposed to be. But wait! Couldn't only female Snorunt become Froslass? Yes, that's a good point, but! That is not relevant to this case. EVIDENCE REJECTED. That's a shame. Anyway, Jordan Hgfieau, once she had become … lucid, decided to set out on a quest to capture the one and only giant Bidoof along with her trusty friends, FRO ASS, her Froslass, **Rape Whistle**, her Snorelax, and Caesar BoomShakaLaka, her oddly … special Bidoof.

What made Caesar BoomShakaLaka so special? She had been drop kicked as a baby. Therefore, the third hump on her butt was permanently shoved in. Jordan murdered Caesar BookShakaLaka, then with her other Pokemon in tow, slaughtered to the Sinnoh region. Leaving a bloody trail in her wake, Jordan carried the corpse of her deceased Bidoof to Mount Flabs, where she burned it as an offering to the giant Bidoof. Suddenly, Jordan stopped. "Where the hell is Mount Flabs?" She asked herself, "hmm … Maybe I got some bad markers." Shaking her head, she cleared her confusion before skipping in the traditional manner to summon the mighty Bidoof. My underwear is too tight.

"YES?" A voice roared from the heavens, "You stole all my tacos last night. That's right. I saw you. I want them back. I demand it. Well, now that I'm done saying that, let's go ride a pony into outerspace. How does that sound? And also, I must urinate before we depart."Jordan looked up at the sky in utter confusion. She opened her mouth to voice her thoughts, then she suddenly closed it, because a flood of pretty purple liquid fell from the sky. "Nom nom nom nom nom.." she said. The Bidoof's arm suddenly grabbed Jordan and whisked her up into the atmosphere (RAPE! Actually, it's more like...kidnapping...). A space unicorn floated by, saying " ALWAYS I WANT TO BE WITH YOU " before moving on. Occasionally, a rainbows of them would float by, then the detached Bidoof leg … arm … paw … THING grabbed two and forced Jordan to sit on one (MORE KIDNAPPING.). Holding on her dear life, the space unicorn sped through the atmosphere at a moist pace. "I rub you," the unicorn whispered very creepily. Jordan, taken aback by this sudden adroitness, said "My pants are on fire and I need to extinguish them before I spontaneously combust into a billion pieces." The unicorn took this as a compliment, so in return, he... she... IT THINGY decided to do it faster and faster and faster. Faster at doing what? Speeding through the atmosphere, of course. Then, it randomly stopped for a while. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Shouted Jordan, "KEEP GOING AT IT." The unicorn then died. Jordan then got magically teleported to her destination. Then, I made sure she died. Just kidding. As a matter of fact, she survived. Then, she ran away to pee in a bush. After she did that, she wanted to train her Pokemon, so, she devised a quick plan to train them all at once. She grabbed a stick, and ate it. :D


End file.
